Healing Trauma: How Letting Go of Outcome Leads to Surprising Breakthroughs

Healing Touch

Last month, I shared the story about my client, Janice, and the two reasons it’s important to let go of outcome in every Healing Touch session:

  1. There is an aspect to healing that is a mystery.
  2. Healing results can go beyond our wildest dreams.

This is especially true when it comes to Trauma Release, and Janice’s experience is a wonderful example.

Janice, at 58, was suffering from anxiety that she traced back to her childhood. Her goal was to address this, but she was also open to trusting in the natural unfolding of the healing process rather than striving to “fix” something. I held this intention as well, giving her the time and space she needed to feel comfortable with me and the process. As a result, she was able to accept feelings of vulnerability and look more closely at childhood wounds.

Janice was 11 years old when her family moved. She was facing intense teasing at school that, in Janice’s words, “took me out of the innocence and happiness of childhood and threw me into the upheaval of pre-adolescence.”

It was a time of intense loneliness for Janice. Her mother was emotionally unavailable to support her with the emerging anxiety, she had no friends at school, and no support from her teacher. Her bedroom was in the basement of their new home, where she felt isolated from the rest of the family.

“This was where the panic attacks started. At night I was afraid to close my eyes. The heart palpitations made me think I was dying.”

Even though Janice’s symptoms were greatly reduced from our Healing Touch sessions, she realized that there was some resistance to these positive changes. She was bumping up against something that is very common in the healing process: fear of the unknown.

“Will my life radically change?” she wondered. Nonetheless, she told me, “I want to be patient, let the process unfold, take the steps when they need to be taken. We need to dig deeper to address the anxiety and panic attacks.”

This indicated to me that Janice was ready to try the Trauma Release Technique.

Her first step was to describe the situation in her bedroom at night—the emotions and the places where she felt tension or pain in her body. Next, Janice laid on the treatment table and I made sure she was warm and comfortable. We went through a process called autogenic relaxation in which I placed my hands sequentially on her chakras, starting with her feet and ending with the crown of her head, while voice guiding her through affirmations of comfort and ease. Then, I gently asked Janice to go back in her mind to the place and time when the trauma first occurred.

At this point Janice was very in tune with her body and was able to identify exactly where she was feeling the pain associated with the situation. Each time she indicated where she felt the pain, I placed my hands over that area, counted to three as she breathed in, and then said, “Release,” as she exhaled forcefully. The idea is to connect with the energetic cellular memory associated with the trauma and release it from her energy field.

After several releases at her left rib, sternum, and left shoulder, Janice said, “I’m angry at my shoulder.”

I asked her, “What would you like to say to your shoulder?”

She told her shoulder emphatically, “Let it go.”

I then invited her to imagine going inside and asking her shoulder, “What do you want to say to me?”

Janice described what happened next. “I see the image of a small girl but it isn’t me. I’m hearing the message, ‘Be loving.’”

I asked, “Self love?”

“Yes,” she said, “but there’s more. This is outer; this has to do with my husband. I know this is when my critical side was born. Things like ‘I don’t like her’ and ‘I’m angry with my parents’ are a pattern and this is when I became so critical, not only towards myself but towards others. I want to be more loving and patient with my husband. He deserves that. He’s a good man.”

What started as a desire to relieve anxiety and pain evolved into a process that went way beyond our original goals and intentions. By letting go of outcome in our Healing Touch sessions Janice attained more clarity about the origin of her critical nature and the source of her difficulties with her husband. Janice was able to heal from her emotional childhood trauma and repair her relationship with her husband. They have started couples therapy and are making great progress towards the loving relationship that they desire.

The added bonus? The shoulder pain is gone.

So, why do we let go of outcome in a Healing Touch session?

  1. If we go beyond what we think is “best” and allow the energy to go where it will serve the client’s highest good, we find a spaciousness; this is where the mystery lives and where we find opportunities for growth and learning.

  2. Although it is important to state our goals and intentions, we must remember that these intentions might also be limiting. When we let go of outcome, we welcome the possibility of surprises and miracles beyond our wildest expectations.

“Learn your theories as well as you can, but put them aside when you touch the miracle of the living soul.” — Carl Jung